Yesterday, I went on a field trip with James' freshman class. They ordered 600 sack lunches and we had 13 buses of students. I don't know the exact number of people that went but it was a lot! We went to the fair and heard a woman talk about how important farmers are, and then she proceeded to tell us that gum has something in it that comes from a pig. I am not going to lie--that did freak me out a bit but then I remembered that I like ham, bacon, sausage, pork chops etc so I unfreaked. Then we took a tour of McLennen Community College -MCC- and Baylor. Hot, humid, loud and lots and lots of mosquitoes! It would have been a perfectly lovely day if there had not been kids. But then again, doesn't that really describe most days. Just kidding, your kids are perfectly lovely and no, they really don't have a compilation of their parents worst traits. And of course, they are the smartest people I have ever met. I mean, after all, your kids know most of the 50 states, just like you said, they are great singers. And yes, I do agree that it was all political that they are on the second string of the chess club. And you are right, it is a crying shame that every year you have to conference with teachers because, even though you have had your children tested, the teachers don't seem to understand that the children are oral learners so expecting them to read to learn is truly a hardship. And don't even tell me the story about how, before kindergarten, they couldn't make the "b"sound, so they said "sass time" and "sye sye." Those stories are just too cute and I really can't handle hearing them again for the hundredth time. It really is too much. And yes, for the last time, it would be great if your kids could come over to play with my kids the next time you have errands to run; however, my dogs are really allergic to laundry detergent and I believe the type you use really makes them cough. And, although, it is very kind to offer to buy doggie medicine if you kids come over and it makes the dogs sick, I just can't ask you to do that. Oh, yes, the next time you take the kids to swim, we will definitely come along. Oh really, your children are Olympic quality swimmers and yes, they really could teach my children how to be better swimmers. Just let me know, and if we are free, we will be there. Tomorrow, oh sorry, we are all having root canals tomorrow. The next day, no busy too. How about if I call you when I get home and can look at my date book? Oh, your taking your kids to your husband's office--I agree, everyone does love the boss's kids. Yes, I have your cell number and I will give you a call. Sure, you call me later. Hopefully my cell phone won't die. I would HATE to miss your call! Okay, bye. --as I mumble to myself, ya, sure, I'll be taking that call.
Please direct all hate-mail to the following address:
Hateful Bitch
665 Angry Avenue
Bitterton, East Odiousas, 66666
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I can't talk to you right now. I have to vacuum my dog.
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